It’s been a while since I last posted here, and a lot has changed since my last update. I’m excited to share that my husband and I are expecting a baby! I’m currently 17 weeks pregnant, and we couldn’t be happier. We had planned for this, especially since, as my husband pointed out, we should start trying sooner rather than later because of my “advanced age” (ahem!). He was surprised at how quickly it happened—turns out, I’m not so advanced after all!
I’m grateful that I’ve made it past the 12-week mark without any complications. However, my joy has been tempered by a difficult situation with a close friend. She and I found out we were pregnant around the same time, but sadly, she suffered a miscarriage. Since then, our friendship has become strained. She confided in me about her pregnancy, so when the worst happened, she began to distance herself from me. When I asked her about it, she explained that the loss is still too painful for her, and she can only be around people who didn’t know about the pregnancy.
This has been hard on me mentally. I’ve been carrying a lot of guilt, knowing that my baby is healthy while hers isn’t. It’s a tough situation, and I’m still trying to navigate these complicated feelings.
Navigating these emotions has been challenging. I want to be sensitive to my friend’s grief while also allowing myself to feel joy about my own pregnancy. It’s a delicate balance, and honestly, I’m still figuring it out.
For anyone else who might be going through something similar, I think the most important thing is to allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling—whether it’s joy, guilt, sadness, or something else entirely. It’s okay to have conflicting emotions, and it’s okay to give yourself permission to feel happiness about your pregnancy even if someone else is going through a loss. It’s also crucial to give your friend space if she needs it, but let her know you’re there for her whenever she’s ready. Grief has its own timeline, and it’s different for everyone.
On days when I feel overwhelmed, I remind myself that it’s okay not to have all the answers. I try to focus on the things I can control—like taking care of my health and preparing for the baby—while being as supportive as I can for my friend, even if that means stepping back for now.
If you’re in a similar situation, know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to seek support for yourself too, whether through a trusted friend, a counselor, or a support group. We’re all just trying to do our best in these moments, and that’s enough.