When I first moved to London, I never imagined that Tinder would be the place where I’d meet my future husband. After experiencing two back-to-back heartbreak, I felt the need to branch out and meet new people. Little did I know that this journey would lead me to a love that, while not perfect at the start, would grow into something truly special.
The Heartbreaks That Led Me to Him
I’ve always been the kind of person who falls fast and hard. I’ve been known to skip the casual dating phase and dive headfirst into relationships. Looking back, I wish I had taken more time to enjoy being single, but at the time, I was too focused on finding “the one.”
The first guy I fell for after moving to London was a tour bus driver from Italy. We had a whirlwind romance, and though he spoke to me in broken English, I convinced myself that our communication issues were just part of the charm. He had his insecurities, and while he said some unkind things to me, I wrote them off as a defense mechanism—something we all do when we don’t want to get hurt. In hindsight, I realize I was making excuses for his behavior that should have been a red flag. But as anyone who’s been in love knows, it’s easy to overlook the warning signs when your heart is involved.
After ghosting me for a month, he reached out again with sweet words, asking about my plans for Christmas and suggesting he might visit me in London. He even hinted that I should visit him in Italy. But then he disappeared once more. The moment I knew it was truly over was when I saw him update his Facebook profile picture—hugging a blonde lady in front of a Ryanair plane. I messaged him about the picture, asking if he was seeing someone. He didn’t reply. That was when I knew it was time to let go.
The second guy was a friend I met through a mutual friend. We hit it off quickly, and he was incredibly open and honest with me. At the time, I thought that if a guy is willing to be vulnerable, it means you mean something to him. But I soon realized he was just as open with anyone willing to listen. He was the indecisive type—seeing every woman he met as a potential partner but too afraid to commit, fearing he might miss out on something better. His indecision meant he kept pulling me in and pushing me away. Our last drama was on New Year’s Eve. We went to a club, kissed at midnight, and I felt so happy, thinking that after a year of waiting, we were finally together. But early the next morning, he told me he was confused and didn’t think I was the one. He said he liked me as a friend. I was heartbroken, but I knew it was time to move on.
But the story didn’t end there. A year later, we attended a friend’s wedding in Montreal—the friend getting married happened to be his ex-girlfriend. When an ex gets married, it naturally makes you question your own choices and wonder why you’re still single. I suppose he was in a vulnerable place, and we ended up chatting outside for a bit. When we went back inside, we realized everyone had packed up and left! As we walked back to our accommodation, he held my hand and kept stopping to give me a hug. He told me to keep it a secret between us, and it messed me up for a long time. We never spoke about it again.
We’re still friends, and he even attended my wedding. We recently had a conversation about his dilemma of choosing between different women, each with their own unique qualities. I advised him to choose the one who’s in it for the long haul, someone ready to commit to him as much as he is to her.
In the words of Tay Tay:
“And you call me up again / Just to break me like a promise / So casually cruel in the name of being honest.” —Taylor Swift, “All Too Well”
Meeting My Husband on Tinder
By the time I met my now-husband on Tinder, I was emotionally exhausted and just looking for a distraction. I was upfront with him about my recent experiences and the lingering feelings I had for these other men. If he was jealous, he never showed it. Instead, he treated me with kindness and understanding. He made it clear that if things didn’t work out between us, he would be okay with it because he had done his best.
In today’s world, finding someone with that level of maturity and emotional intelligence feels like finding a needle in a haystack. Many of the single men I know are still searching for the “perfect” girl—the one who checks all their boxes. But my husband wasn’t looking for perfection; he was looking for someone to build a life with, someone he could commit to fully, flaws and all.
Challenges Are Part of Every Relationship
Our relationship wasn’t without its challenges. There were moments when I doubted whether we were right for each other, times when I wondered if I should have stayed single a bit longer. Like I still had my doubts and was still hung up on my friend, even silly thinking that maybe in my next life, he’d be mine. (I never told my husband about these feelings!). But deep down, I knew he wasn’t the one for me, and I wasn’t the one for him.
Navigating my lingering feelings from past relationships was tough, but through it all, he was my rock. He never pressured me to move faster than I was ready, and he never let his ego get in the way of our progress.
Mr Right, eventually
Now, looking back, I’m so grateful that we jumped through all those hurdles together. My husband wasn’t “Mr. Right” at the time, but he became the right man for me through his actions, his patience, and his unwavering commitment. He showed me that love isn’t about finding someone who fits a checklist or someone who sweeps you off your feet in a whirlwind romance. It’s about finding someone who stands by you, even when things aren’t perfect, and who is willing to put in the work to build a strong, lasting relationship.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this journey, it’s that love often comes when you least expect it, and it doesn’t always look the way you thought it would. But when you find someone willing to go through the ups and downs with you, who sees your worth even when you’re doubting yourself, that’s the kind of love that’s worth holding onto.
“I’ve been spending the last eight months / Thinking all love ever does / Is break and burn, and end / But on a Wednesday in a cafe / I watched it begin again.” —Taylor Swift, “Begin Again”
So, here’s to finding love in unexpected places, to overcoming the hurdles that test our resolve, and to the partners who stick with us through it all. I’m so lucky to have found mine, and I wouldn’t change our journey for anything.